Ipharadox yeNhlonipho: Kungani iZizukulwane Ezinobudlelwano Obukhulu Zizizwa Zodwa

Singafinyelela almost noma ubani, ngokushesha, noma kuphi. Sinezingane eziningi "zabangani," izinkulungwane zabalandeli, amaqembu okukhuluma angapheli. Ngazo zonke izindlela zobuchwepheshe, thina singabantu abahlangene kakhulu abake baphila. Nokho, ukuhlala wedwa kuchazwa kabanzi njengokukhula, abanye ochwepheshe bezempilo yomphakathi bethi kuyisifo. Lokhu kuyiphazili: amathuluzi abephethe ukugcina abantu behlangene kubonakala, kubantu abaningi, ehambisana nokukhula kokuhlukana.

Lokhu akusikho kuphela "ukuxhumana kwezokuxhumana kubi" indaba — ubudlelwano bujolile, futhi ubuchwepheshe bokuxhumana bungaba yinsiza futhi. Kodwa kukhona indlela ethile lapho into eyakhelwe ukusixhumanisa ingasishiya sikhuluma kakhulu, futhi ukuqonda lokhu kukhomba kulokho okwenze umgodi. Nansi i-paradox yokuhlukana, ngempela.

Uxhumano akufani nokuxhumana

Inhliziyo ye-paradox iwukudideka phakathi kwezinto ezimbili ezihlukene: ukuxhumana nokuxhumana. Imithombo yezokuxhumana ikhulisa ukuxhumana — inani elikhulu lokuxhumana, izibuyekezo, nabantu obathintana nabo. Kodwa isidingo somuntu esivimbela ukuhlala wedwa asihlangatshezwa ngenani lokuxhumana. Kuhlangatshezwa ngokuxhumana: umuzwa wokwaziwa, ukuqondwa, nokubaluleka kumuntu. Ungaba nokuxhumana okuningi futhi ungabi nokuxhumana, futhi leyo ndaba iyohlukile ngendlela yayo yokuhlukana.

Okuningi okunikezwa yizinkundla zokuxhumana kunokuxhumana okuningi, kodwa ukuxhumana kwangempela kuncane: ukubuka impilo yabanye nje, ukushintshisana ngama-like, ukuhlala ucathamela kuma-feed, nokusakaza kubabukeli. Lokhu kunikeza ukubukeka nezibalo zokuphila komphakathi ngaphandle kwento ewondlayo ngempela. Kuyafana ngokomphakathi nokudla ukudla okungenamsoco — ngokobuchwepheshe udle okuthile, kodwa isidingo esiyisisekelo asihlangatshezwana naso, bese uyazibuza ukuthi kungani isikhala sisekhona ngemva kwamahora “okuzijabulisa nabanye.”

Izinkundla zokuxhumana zisipha uxhumano olungapheli kodwa zihlupha ukuxhumana. Ungachitha amahora 'ubukhona' — uthanda, uhamba, udlulisa — bese uphinde uzizwe ungedwa, ngoba inani lokuxhumana alizange lihlangabezane nezidingo zomuntu zokuxhumana.

Kungani ukusetshenziswa okungasebenzi kahle kuyindlela yokuhlala wedwa

Abacwaningi bavame ukwenza umehluko owusizo lapha: ukusetshenziswa kwezinkundla zokuxhumana okungasebenzi uma kuqhathaniswa nokusebenzayo. Ukusetshenziswa okungasebenzi — ukuskrula, ukubukela nje, nokudla okuqukethwe kwabanye ungaxhumani nabo — kuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nomoya omubi kakhulu, umona omningi, kanye nenhlalakahle ephansi. Ukusetshenziswa okusebenzayo — ukuxhumana ngqo, ukuthumela abantu bangempela imiyalezo, ukuxoxisana emuva naphambili kwangempela — kuvame ukuba okungalimazi kakhulu noma ngisho kube kuhle. Lokhu kuhlukanisa akucaci njengoba kwakucatshangwa ekuqaleni (Valkenburg et al., 2022), kodwa njengomthetho olula wokusebenzisa kwakho, kusebenza kahle. Izinkundla, ngeshwa, zenzelwe kakhulu ukukhulisa uhlobo olungasebenzi, ngoba ukuskrula okungapheli kuletha ukuzibandakanya okuningi kunokushintshisana okunengqondo.

Ngakho-ke indlela ejwayelekile abantu abaningi abasebenzisa ngayo izokuxhumana — ukudla okuqukethwe okujwayelekile — iyona ndlela enezingozi kakhulu yokujulisa ubuhlungu bokuhlala wedwa. Ulandela bonke abanye bebonakala behlangana futhi benempilo yokuxhumana ecebile (imikhumbulo yabo ehlelekile), uyilinganisa neqiniso lakho elijwayelekile, futhi uzwa umona futhi ungenandaba. Lokhu kuhlobene kakhulu ne-trap yokwengeza esiyikhuluma ku-kungani izokuxhumana kukwenza uzwe kabi kanye ne-FOMO mechanism ku-ukwesaba ukuphuthelwa.

Kungakwenza ukuthi kube khona ukungabikho kokwenzeka

Kukhona futhi izindleko zokungabikho. Amahora achithwa ekuxhumekeni okuphansi awama hora achithwa emisebenzini yokuxhumana ephezulu ethuthukisa ukuhlala wedwa — ukubona abantu, ukufonela umngane, ukuba khona nabantu abakuzungezile. I-feed ingazizwa njengokuxhumana okwanele ukuze kuhlangatshezwane nesifiso, ngaphandle kokuletha ukudla, ngakho ukuxhumana okwangempela akukhona. Uhlola isifiso ngaphandle kokuhlinzeka ngempilo.

Uhlaka oluqotho

Kungaba ukungathembeki ukusho ukuthi izinkundla zokuxhumana zivele zibangele isizungu — ucwaningo luyaxubana ngempela, indlela yokubangela ihamba nhlangothi zombili (abantu abanesizungu bangase bazisebenzise kakhulu, befuna ukuxhumana), futhi kweminye imikhakha ziyisixhumanisi esibalulekile nomphakathi ababengeke bawufinyelele ngenye indlela. Abahlukanisiwe, ababoshelwe emakhaya, abakude ngokwendawo, nabasemiphakathini ekhethekile — kwabaningi, lawa mathuluzi anikeza ukuxhumana kwangempela, okuwusizo.

Ngakho-ke, ukuveza okukhuluma ngempela kuncane futhi kusebenziseka kakhulu: ukusebenzisa imidiya yokuxhumana ngendlela yokuhlola, enezikhala, ethinta abantu ngokungaqondile kuvame ukuqinisa ubuhlungu, kanti ukusebenzisa ngendlela yokuxhumana eqondile, enobungane kungasiza. Imidiya ayikho kahle noma kabi — indlela oyisebenzisayo yenza umehluko ophawulekayo. Lokhu kuyasiza, ngoba kusho ukuthi into ongayilawula — indlela ophendula ngayo — iyona ebaluleke kakhulu.

Yini empeleni egcwalisa le ndawo

Uma ubuhlungu bokuhlala wedwa bungumkhawulo wokuxhumana obungagcwaliswa ukuthintana, impendulo akusikho nje ukunciphisa imithombo yezokuxhumana — kodwa ukugxila kulokho okuhlanganyela ngempela:

• Shintsha ukusuka kokungasebenzi kuya kokusebenza. Uma uzobe kule nkundla, yisebenzisele ukuxhumana ngempela — thumela umlayezo kumuntu wangempela, nibe nengxoxo yangempela — kunokuba uskrole nje. Ukusetshenziswa okusebenzayo kuyindlela engalimazi; ukusetshenziswa okungasebenzi kuyindlela eyenza uzizwe wedwa.
• Guqula ukuthintana ku-inthanethi kube ukuxhumana okungaphandle. Sebenzisa amathuluzi njengebhuloho lokuya ekuhlangabezaneni kwangempela, hhayi esikhundleni salokho. Umlayezo ophenduka ikhofi wenza lokho okungeke kwenziwe yizinkulungwane zokuthandwa.
• Vikela isikhathi semisebenzi enokuxhumana okukhulu. Vikela ngamabomu izinto ezihlangabezana ngempela nesidingo — ukubona abantu mathupha, izingcingo nabantu obathandayo, ukuba khona ngokuphelele nabantu abakuzungezile esikhundleni sokuba khona kancane ngemuva kwesikrini.
• Nciphisa ukuskrula okungasebenzi ngokukhethekile. Gxila ekubukeni okufihlekile, okuningi ngokuzilinganisa nabanye — leyo yindlela ehlotshaniswa kakhulu nokuzizwa wedwa. Bheka umhlahlandlela wethu ku-ukunciphisa isikhathi sokubuka isikrini ngaphandle kwamandla okuzibamba.
• Qaphela umuzwa olandelayo. Ngemva kwezinkundla zokuxhumana, umuzwa wakho wokuxhumana uba namandla noma uba buthaka? Sebenzisa lowo mfanekiso ukuqondisa ekusebenziseni nasekubantwini abakondlayo ngempela futhi ukude nalabo abakukhipha amandla.

Inhloso akukhona ukuhoxisa ubuchwepheshe — kodwa ukuvuma ukuthi ukuxhumana akufani nokuxhumana, nokusebenzisa amandla akho okuxhumana ngendlela efanele ukuze uhlangabezane nesidingo esijulile sokwaziwa. I-feed ijabule ukuhlinzeka ngalolo suku futhi ikunikeze izilinganiso. Ukuxhumana kudinga okuthile okungatholakali ku-feed.

Umphumela omkhulu

Ipharadox yokuhlukaniswa — uxhumano oluningi, kodwa uzwa ubuhlungu — ixazululwa uma uhlukanisa ukuthintana nokuxhumana. Izinkundla zokuxhumana zihlaba umoya ngokuthintana kanti ngokuvamile zinciphisa uxhumano oluvimbela ubuhlungu, ikakhulukazi ngokuskrola okungapheli, okuqhathanisayo okukhubazayo okushiya sikhumbula impilo yethu ejwayelekile uma siqhathanisa nezinto ezinhle zabanye.

Kodwa okuguquguqukayo okubalulekile yindlela oyisebenzisa ngayo, futhi lokho nguwe ongakushintsha. Shintsha ukuskrula okungasebenzi kube ukuxhumana okusebenzayo, sebenzisa amathuluzi njengebhuloho lokuya ekuhlangabezaneni kwangempela kunokuba kube indawo yokushintsha, futhi uvikele isikhathi sokuba mathupha, sokuxhumana ngempela, okungekho okuphakelayo okungasishintsha. Awudingi ukuphuma ku-inthanethi unomphela. Udinga ukuyeka ukuvumela ukuthintana kufane nokuxhumana — futhi uhlangabezane nesidingo esingemuva kwalokhu kuzizwa wedwa.

Sources

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