Ipharadox yeNhlonipho: Kungani iZizukulwane Ezinobudlelwano Obukhulu Zizizwa Zodwa

Singafinyelela almost noma ubani, ngokushesha, noma kuphi. Sinezingane eziningi "zabangani," izinkulungwane zabalandeli, amaqembu okukhuluma angapheli. Ngazo zonke izindlela zobuchwepheshe, thina singabantu abahlangene kakhulu abake baphila. Nokho, ukuhlala wedwa kuchazwa kabanzi njengokukhula, abanye ochwepheshe bezempilo yomphakathi bethi kuyisifo. Lokhu kuyiphazili: amathuluzi abephethe ukugcina abantu behlangene kubonakala, kubantu abaningi, ehambisana nokukhula kokuhlukana.

Lokhu akusikho kuphela "ukuxhumana kwezokuxhumana kubi" indaba — ubudlelwano bujolile, futhi ubuchwepheshe bokuxhumana bungaba yinsiza futhi. Kodwa kukhona indlela ethile lapho into eyakhelwe ukusixhumanisa ingasishiya sikhuluma kakhulu, futhi ukuqonda lokhu kukhomba kulokho okwenze umgodi. Nansi i-paradox yokuhlukana, ngempela.

Uxhumano akufani nokuxhumana

Inhliziyo ye-paradox iwukudideka phakathi kwezinto ezimbili ezihlukene: ukuxhumana nokuxhumana. Imithombo yezokuxhumana ikhulisa ukuxhumana — inani elikhulu lokuxhumana, izibuyekezo, nabantu obathintana nabo. Kodwa isidingo somuntu esivimbela ukuhlala wedwa asihlangatshezwa ngenani lokuxhumana. Kuhlangatshezwa ngokuxhumana: umuzwa wokwaziwa, ukuqondwa, nokubaluleka kumuntu. Ungaba nokuxhumana okuningi futhi ungabi nokuxhumana, futhi leyo ndaba iyohlukile ngendlela yayo yokuhlukana.

Iningi lokho okukhuluma ngakho ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kukhombisa ukuxhumana okuphakeme, kodwa okuxhumana okuphansi: ukubuka impilo yabanye ngendlela engathathi hlangothi, ukwabelana ngama-like, ukungena ezincwadini, nokukhuluma phambi kwabantu. Lokhu kukhombisa ukubukeka kanye nezilinganiso zokuphila komphakathi ngaphandle kokudla okwenyusa impilo. Kuyafana nokudla ukudla okungekho ne-nutrition — ubuchwepheshe udle okuthile, kodwa isidingo esiyisisekelo asitholakali, futhi usala uzibuza ukuthi kungani usakhungathekile ngemva kwamahora "okuxhumana."

Izinkundla zokuxhumana zisipha uxhumano olungapheli kodwa zihlupha ukuxhumana. Ungachitha amahora 'ubukhona' — uthanda, uhamba, udlulisa — bese uphinde uzizwe ungedwa, ngoba inani lokuxhumana alizange lihlangabezane nezidingo zomuntu zokuxhumana.

Kungani ukusetshenziswa okungasebenzi kahle kuyindlela yokuhlala wedwa.

Ucwaningo luphinde lwahlukanise okubalulekile lapha: ukusetshenziswa kwezokuxhumana okungasebenzi vs. okusebenzayo. Ukusetshenziswa okungasebenzi — ukuhamba, ukungena, ukudla okuqukethwe kwabanye ngaphandle kokuxhumana — kuyindlela ethintwa kakhulu nemizwa emibi, umona, nokuphila okungcono. Ukusetshenziswa okusebenzayo — ukuxhumana ngqo, ukuthumela imiyalezo kubantu bangempela, ukuxhumana okwenziwe ngempela — kuvame ukuba kuhle noma ngisho nokuthokozisa. Izinkundla, ngokudabukisayo, zenzelwe kakhulu ukukhulisa le ndlela engasebenzi, ngoba ukuhamba okungapheli kuholela ekubambeni okukhulu kunokuxhumana okunomqondo.

Ngakho-ke indlela ejwayelekile abantu abaningi abasebenzisa ngayo izokuxhumana — ukudla okuqukethwe okujwayelekile — iyona ndlela enezingozi kakhulu yokujulisa ubuhlungu bokuhlala wedwa. Ulandela bonke abanye bebonakala behlangana futhi benempilo yokuxhumana ecebile (imikhumbulo yabo ehlelekile), uyilinganisa neqiniso lakho elijwayelekile, futhi uzwa umona futhi ungenandaba. Lokhu kuhlobene kakhulu ne-trap yokwengeza esiyikhuluma ku-kungani izokuxhumana kukwenza uzwe kabi kanye ne-FOMO mechanism ku-ukwesaba ukuphuthelwa.

Kungakwenza ukuthi kube khona ukungabikho kokwenzeka

Kukhona futhi izindleko zokungabikho. Amahora achithwa ekuxhumekeni okuphansi awama hora achithwa emisebenzini yokuxhumana ephezulu ethuthukisa ukuhlala wedwa — ukubona abantu, ukufonela umngane, ukuba khona nabantu abakuzungezile. I-feed ingazizwa njengokuxhumana okwanele ukuze kuhlangatshezwane nesifiso, ngaphandle kokuletha ukudla, ngakho ukuxhumana okwangempela akukhona. Uhlola isifiso ngaphandle kokuhlinzeka ngempilo.

Uhlaka oluqotho

Kuyoba kungalungile ukuveza ukuthi imidiya yokuxhumana ibangela ubuhlungu — ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi kukhona okungafani, futhi umphumela ungabuyela emuva (abantu abahlukumezekile bangase bayise kakhulu, befuna ukuxhumana), futhi kwezinye izigaba, iyindlela ebalulekile yokuxhumana nomphakathi abangakwazi ukufinyelela ngenye indlela. Abahlukanisiwe, abahlala emakhaya, abakude ngezindawo, labo abakwi-communities ezithile — kubantu abaningi, lezi zinsiza zikh提供a ukuxhumana okuyiqiniso, okubalulekile.

Ngakho-ke, ukuveza okukhuluma ngempela kuncane futhi kusebenziseka kakhulu: ukusebenzisa imidiya yokuxhumana ngendlela yokuhlola, enezikhala, ethinta abantu ngokungaqondile kuvame ukuqinisa ubuhlungu, kanti ukusebenzisa ngendlela yokuxhumana eqondile, enobungane kungasiza. Imidiya ayikho kahle noma kabi — indlela oyisebenzisayo yenza umehluko ophawulekayo. Lokhu kuyasiza, ngoba kusho ukuthi into ongayilawula — indlela ophendula ngayo — iyona ebaluleke kakhulu.

Yini empeleni egcwalisa le ndawo

Uma ubuhlungu bokuhlala wedwa bungumkhawulo wokuxhumana obungagcwaliswa ukuthintana, impendulo akusikho nje ukunciphisa imithombo yezokuxhumana — kodwa ukugxila kulokho okuhlanganyela ngempela:

• Shintsha ukusuka kokungasebenzi ukuya kokusebenza. Uma uzobe usemkhakheni, sebenzisa ukuze uqhakambise — thumela umlayezo kumuntu ophilayo, ube nokuxhumana okungokoqobo — kunokuba uhambe uhamba. Ukusetshenziswa okusebenzayo kuyindlela enhle; ukusetshenziswa okungasebenzi kahle kuyindlela yokuhlala wedwa.
• Guqula ukuthintana ku-inthanethi kube ukuxhumana okungaphandle. Sebenzisa amathuluzi njengomgogodla wokuhlangana okwangempela, hhayi esikhundleni salokho. Umlayezo ophendukayo ube ikhofi wenza lokho okungaphezu kwezinkulungwane zokuthanda.
• Vikela isikhathi semisebenzi enokuxhumana okukhulu. Qinisekisa izinto ezihlangabezana nesidingo — ukubona abantu ngempela, izingcingo nabantu obathandayo, ukuba khona ngokuphelele nabantu abakuzungezile esikhundleni sokuba khona kancane ngemuva kwesikrini.
• Nciphisa ukuhamba okungasebenzi kahle ngokukhethekile. Qondisa ekudleni okukhona, okuphikisanayo — leyo yindlela ehlobene kakhulu nokuhlala wedwa. Bheka umhlahlandlela wethu ku-ukunciphisa isikhathi sokubuka isikrini ngaphandle kokuzikhandla.
• Qaphela umuzwa olandelayo. Ngemuva kwemithombo yezokuxhumana, uzizwa uxhumeke kakhulu noma uzwa udwa? Sebenzisa le msignali ukuze uqondise ekusebenziseni nasekubantwini abakhuthazayo futhi kude nalabo abathatha amandla.

Inhloso akukhona ukuhoxisa ubuchwepheshe — kodwa ukuvuma ukuthi ukuxhumana akufani nokuxhumana, nokusebenzisa amandla akho okuxhumana ngendlela efanele ukuze uhlangabezane nesidingo esijulile sokwaziwa. I-feed ijabule ukuhlinzeka ngalolo suku futhi ikunikeze izilinganiso. Ukuxhumana kudinga okuthile okungatholakali ku-feed.

Umphumela omkhulu

Ipharadox yokuhlukaniswa — uxhumano oluningi, kodwa uzwa ubuhlungu — ixazululwa uma uhlukanisa ukuthintana nokuxhumana. Izinkundla zokuxhumana zihlaba umoya ngokuthintana kanti ngokuvamile zinciphisa uxhumano oluvimbela ubuhlungu, ikakhulukazi ngokuskrola okungapheli, okuqhathanisayo okukhubazayo okushiya sikhumbula impilo yethu ejwayelekile uma siqhathanisa nezinto ezinhle zabanye.

Kodwa into ebalulekile ukuthi ungayisebenzisa kanjani, futhi lokho kuncike kuwe. Shintsha ukuskrinela okungasebenzi kahle ngokuxhumana okusebenzayo, sebenzisa amathuluzi njengomgudu wokuhlangana kweqiniso esikhundleni sokuba esikhundleni, futhi uvikele isikhathi sokuhlangana ngobuso nobuso, esixhumana ngempela, esingakwenzi noma iyiphi ifidi. Awudingi ukuphuma ku-inthanethi phakade. Udinga ukuvimbela ukuthintana ukuba kube njengokuxhumana — futhi uphakamise isidingo esikwenza uzwe ubuhlungu.

Sources

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