Uphila kahle kakhulu. Bese uvula i-feed ubone abantu abathathu owaziyo emcimbini ongakawamukeli, uhambo lwezulu lomngani, kanye nomngani obika izindaba ezinhle. Ngokuzumayo, ubusuku bakho obuhle bujolise njengokuthola umvuzo wokunqoba. Lokhu kuhlangana esiswini sakho kunegama — i-FOMO, ukukhathazeka kokungaphumeleli — futhi sekube enye yezimpawu ezithembekile zokuthwala umhlaba wezokuxhumana epokothweni yakho.
I-FOMO ibhekwa njengokungafani kokuba nokungaqiniseki kancane noma ukuba se-inthanethi kancane. Kodwa kuyinto yangempela, efundwe kahle, enezizathu ezithile, futhi okubalulekile, akukhona ngempela ngemicimbi oyishiyayo. Ukuqonda ukuthi kuyi-what ngempela — futhi akukhona lokho okukhona — yikho okwenza kube nokwenzeka ukunciphisa umsindo.
Okuyikho i-FOMO
Abacwaningi bachaza ukwesaba kokushiywa ngaphandle njengokukhathazeka okujwayelekile ukuthi abanye bangase babe nezinto ezinhle abazithola, kanti wena ungase ungabi khona, kuhambisana nesifiso sokuhlala uxhumekile kulokho abanye abakwenza. Igama le-FOMO lafundwa ngokuqinile ngu-Andrew Przybylski nabanye, abathole ukuthi i-FOMO ihlobene nokwehla kwemizwa, ukunganeliseki kokuphila, futhi — okukhombisayo — ukusetshenziswa kwezenhlalo okuphakeme, okungokwenyama. I-FOMO ikudonsela emkhakheni, futhi umkhakha uthokozisa i-FOMO.
Nansi ingxenye eguqula konke: I-FOMO ixhomeke ezidingweni zengqondo ezingahlangatshezwana nazo, ikakhulukazi isidingo sokuba yingxenye nokuzizwa uxhumekile. Lapho lezi zidingo zingahlangatshezwana nazo, ukwesaba kokushiywa ngaphandle kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabanye kuyanda. Ngakho-ke, ubuhlungu obuzwa akukhona nje "ngifisa ukuba kulolo mcimbi oluthile." Kukhona okungaphezulu kokuthi "ngiyaxhumana, ngiyingxenye, ngiyakwazi ukuhamba?" — futhi i-feed iklanywe kahle ukuze ibhujiswe leyo nqubo ethile.
I-FOMO ibonakala sengathi iphathelene nomcimbi owuphuthelile. Empeleni iphathelene nombuzo ojulile — ngiyakwazi ukuhamba, ngiyingxenye? — futhi i-feed iklanywe ukuze impendulo ibonakale njengokuthi 'cha' izikhathi eziyikhulu ngosuku.
Kungani i-feed ikhiqiza lokhu
I-FOMO yayikhona ngaphambi kwezokuxhumana — abantu bahlale bekhathalela ukuhambisana nomphakathi. Kodwa amapulatifomu aguqule umuzwa ophakathi nendawo ube yinto eqhubekayo, ngenxa yezinto ezithile zokwakha.
Ubonisa konke okukhanyayo kwabanye, konke ngesikhathi esisodwa
Abantu bathumela imizuzu yabo emihle kakhulu — iphathi, uhambo, ukunqoba — futhi cishe bangakaze bathumele usuku olujwayelekile lwesibili noma usuku olubi. Ngakho, ifidi yakho iyirekhodi elihlelwe kahle lemidlalwano eminingi yabantu, ihlukaniswe ibe yiskroll esisodwa. Ufinyelela ekutheni uqhathanise impilo yakho ejwayelekile, engahlelwanga, nezinye izigigaba ezihlelwe kahle. Akukho impilo yangempela engakwazi ukuncintisana nalokho okuhlanganisiwe, yingakho ifidi ivame ukukushiya uzizwa ungaphansi. Lokhu kuyinjini efanayo engemuva kwendaba yethu ethinta <a href="/blog/posts/social-media-comparison/">kungani ezokuxhumana kukwenza uzizwe ungcono</a>.
Ukuphuthelwa manje kubonakala futhi akukwazi ukuphikiswa
Ngaphambi kwezokuxhumana, uma ungakabhaliswanga emcimbini, ngokuvamile awuzange wazi. Manje uthola irekhodi lesikhathi sangempela, elithathwe ngezithombe, lokho okwakungakukhona. Le ndawo iguqula ukungabi khona okwakungabonakali kube isithombe esicacile, esingaphindwa sokuhlukumeza. Lokho akusikho umphumela ophumayo — umsebenzi wezokuxhumana obonakalayo yikho okugcina uhlole, futhi ukuhlola kwakho kuyimikhiqizo.
<strong>Ukuphambuka okuyinhloko:</strong> uqhathanisa impilo yakho yangaphakathi ephelele, engahlelwanga, nezithombe ezikhethiwe zabantu abaningi ngasikhathi sinye. Lokhu kuqhathaniswa akulungile — futhi ukuzizwa ukuthi uhluleka kuyisiphumo esingalungile.
I-loop eyakha i-FOMO
I-FOMO iyazixhasa ngendlela ethile engathandeki. Uzizwa ungaxhunyiwe noma uhluleka, ngakho uhlole ifidi ukuze uxhumane futhi uzithokozise. Kodwa ifidi — eyakhiwe ngezithombe ezikhethiwe nokuhlukumeza okubonakalayo — ikwenza uzizwe uhluleka kakhulu, hhayi kancane. Ngakho uhlole futhi. Isenzo esithembisa ukukhululeka sikhulisa ubuhlungu, okwenza kube khona isenzo esengeziwe.
Ngakho-ke lokhu kungani iseluleko esithi "sebenzisa kancane" singakhethi kahle ku-FOMO: le platform isebenza njengendlela yakho (eyiphumelelayo) yokuhlangabezana nesidingo sangempela sokuba khona. Awukwazi ukususa kuphela ngaphandle kokubhekana nesidingo esingaphansi, noma uzobuyiselwa emuva. Indlela yokuphuma akusikho kuphela ukusebenzisa i-feed kancane — kuwukuhlangabezana nesidingo sokuba khona endaweni lapho i-feed ingakwazi ukuyiphazamisa.
Ungakuthula kanjani
Ngoba i-FOMO iyinkinga yokungahlangabezani nezidingo ebukeka njengefomu lokuphuthelwa, izindlela ezisebenzayo zibhekana kokubili ne-feed kanye nesidingo esingaphansi kwayo:
- <li><strong>Biza imizwa yangempela.</strong> Lapho umuzwa ushaya, buza: ingabe lokhu kuhlobene ngempela nalolo suku, noma ngabe ngiyazizwa ngihlukene manje? Ukukubiza njengokudinga ukuhlala endaweni ethile kunokuthi kube yi-FOMO ethile kuvame ukukhipha umuzwa ngokushesha — uyayeka ukulandela umcimbi futhi uqaphele imizwa yangempela.</li><li><strong>Invest in real connection over feed connection.</strong> Isidingo esingaphansi kwe-FOMO sihlangatshelwa ubudlelwano bokwenyani, hhayi ngokubuka impilo yabanye. Ingxoxo eyodwa yangempela ikwenza kakhulu kulokhu kunohlu lokuskrola, olukhuthaza kuphela umuzwa.</li><li><strong>Hlela ukuze kube yiqiniso, hhayi izigigaba.</strong> Thula noma ungabhalisi kuma-akhawunti akhuthaza ukuqhathanisa. Awukwazi ukuba nezehlakalo — uyavuma ukuvuma ukuhamba phambili.</li><li><strong>Practice 'JOMO' — injabulo yokungabi khona.</strong> Qaphela ngenhloso ubuhle bokuhlala ekhaya, umzuzu ongathathwanga, into oyikhethile kunento oyibone. Ukungabi khona eziningi izinto kuyinto ejwayelekile futhi kulungile; uhlu lwenza ukuhamba kube sengathi kuyiphutha.</li><li><strong>Thuthukisa ukufinyelela kokukhuthaza.</strong> Isikhathi esincane ohlelweni lwezigigaba kusho ukuqhathaniswa okuncane. Hlanganisa lokhu nezinguquko ezisemqoka emguideni yethu ku-<a href="/blog/posts/how-to-reduce-screen-time/">ukunciphisa isikhathi sokubuka ngaphandle kokuzikhandla</a>.</li>
Ukushintsha okubalulekile kakhulu ukuqonda ukuthi uhlu aluwona iwindi lokuthi yini oyiphuthelwe — kuyimishini ehleliwe, ethuthukisa ukuhamba phambili, ebheke esidingweni sakho sokuba yingxenye. Uma usibona ngaleyo ndlela, umuzwa uyalahleka amandla awo. Awukutsheli iqiniso ngempilo yakho; uyasebenza.
Umphumela omkhulu
I-FOMO ibonakala sengathi iphathelene nezinto ezithile ezikushiyela, kodwa empeleni iphathelene nesidingo esijulile sokuba yingxenye nokuhamba phambili — ikhuluma njalo ngempela nge-feed ekhombisa wonke umuntu izigcawu zabo ngesikhathi esisodwa futhi iguqule yonke ukungabi khona kube isithombe esibonakalayo sokuhlukumezeka. Ukuqhathanisa akulungile, futhi ukuzizwa ungemuva kuyimiphumela ehleliwe.
Iphilisi akusiyo ukulandelela ukudla ngokucophelela ukuze ungaphuthelwa lutho — lokho kuphela kukhuthaza umjikelezo. Kumele uhlangabezane nesidingo sangempela kwenye indawo, ekuhlanganyeleni okwenyama, futhi uqonde ukudla njengomshini wokwazisa. Awuphuthelwa lutho olukhulu kulokho okubona. Kukukhombisa umjikelezo wezinto ezinhle futhi kukucela ukuthi uzizwe uncane uma kuqhathaniswa. Ungakwenqaba.
Sources
- Przybylski, A.K., Murayama, K., DeHaan, C.R., & Gladwell, V. (2013). Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(4), 1841–1848.
- Baumeister, R.F., & Leary, M.R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529.
- Elhai, J.D., Levine, J.C., Dvorak, R.D., & Hall, B.J. (2016). Fear of missing out, need for touch, anxiety and depression are related to problematic smartphone use. Computers in Human Behavior, 63, 509–516.
- Beyens, I., Frison, E., & Eggermont, S. (2016). "I don't want to miss a thing": Adolescents' fear of missing out and its relationship to adolescents' social needs. Computers in Human Behavior, 64, 1–8.
- Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P.C., Vartanian, L.R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media. Body Image, 13, 38–45.