Izingane zakho zibukela indlela osebenzisa ngayo ifoni yakho — azilaleli imithetho yakho ngayo

Abazali abaningi balala bengaphumuli becabanga ngesikhathi sezingane sabo sokusebenzisa izikrini — imingcele, izinhlelo zokusebenza, nezingxabano ngezinto zokusebenza. Bambalwa kakhulu abakhathazeka ngalokho okungenzeka kubaluleke kakhulu: indlela bona abasebenzisa ngayo ifoni, ibonakala phambi kwalabo bantwana nsuku zonke. Ungabeka yonke imithetho oyifunayo mayelana nesikhathi sezikrini, kodwa izingane ziyalingisa zingaphezi, futhi zifunda ukuthi ubudlelwano obujwayelekile nefoni bubukeka kanjani ngokubuka abantu abadala ababazungezile. Isifundo sisekuziphatheni kwakho, hhayi emithethweni yakho.

Lokhu akukhulumi ngomuzwa wecala wabazali — wonke umzali ufinyelela efonini, futhi izikrini zinezinto ezizisebenzelayo empilweni yomndeni. Kumayelana nendawo ebalulekile yokushintsha okulula ukuyiphuthelwa: ithonya elinamandla kakhulu emikhubeni yesikhathi esizayo ye-foni yengane yakho kungenzeka lingabi yimingcele oyibekela yona, kodwa kube yimikhuba oyibonisayo. Nakhu okuphakanyiswa ucwaningo, nokuthi yini ongayenza ngempela ngakho.

Izingane zifunda ngokulingisa, hhayi ngokufundiswa

I-psychology yokukhula sekunesikhathi eside ikubonisa ukuthi izingane ezincane zifunda okuningi kakhulu ngokubuka nokulingisa — zibuka lokho okwenziwa abantu abadala ezibathembayo bese zikukopisha, ngokuvamile zilandela lokho ngokwethembeka kakhulu kunalokho okushiwo yilabo bantu abadala. Uma amazwi akho ("beka isikrini sakho eceleni") ephikisana nokuziphatha kwakho (ukuswayipha etafuleni), izingane zilifunda lokho kuziphatha. Izenzo azigcini ngokukhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi; enganeni ebukayo, zona ziyikharikhulamu yangempela.

Ngakho-ke ingane ekhula ibuka abazali abahlola amafoni njalo, abaswayipha ngesikhathi sokudla, futhi abafinyelela kudivayisi njalo uma kuba khona umzuzu othule ifunda, ngesikhathi sangempela, ukuthi lokhu nje kuyindlela amafoni asetshenziswa ngayo. Akukho nkulumo ngemikhawulo enempilo engalingana neminyaka yalokho kuboniswa. Imikhuba yasekhaya — okungokwejwayelekile, ukuthi kulungile nini, nokuthi abantu basondelene kangakanani komunye nomunye — isetwa yilokho abantu abadala abakwenza ngempela, kakhulu kunemithetho abayimemezelayo.

Ungakwazi ukuphoqelela yonke imithetho yesikhathi sesikrini ekhona, kodwa ingane yakho ifunda ukuthi ubudlelwano obujwayelekile nefoni bubukeka kanjani ngokubuka okwakho. Ukuziphatha yisifundo. Imithetho imane iwumsindo ozungezile.

Umthelela womzali ophazamisekile

Kukhona omunye umkhakha, osheshayo kakhulu, ongaphezu kokufundisa ngokulingisa: ukuthi ukusebenzisa ifoni ngesikhathi sokusebenzisana kwenzani ebudlelwaneni khona manjalo. Abacwaningi bafunde i-"technoference" — ukuphazamiseka kwansuku zonke kokusebenzisana komzali nengane okubangelwa amadivayisi — base behlobanisa ukuphazamiseka okukhulu kokunaka kwefoni komzali ngesikhathi sokusebenzisana nobunzima obuningi bokuziphatha kwengane nokuxhumana okubuthakathaka. Uma ukunaka komzali kudonswa kaninginingi esikrinini phakathi nokusebenzisana, ingane iba nochungechunge lokuhlukana okuncane.

Izingane ezincane ikakhulukazi zibona ukunakwa njengothando. Umzali ogxile ocingweni, ebheka phezulu enganakile, uthumela umyalezo ingane ewuzwayo noma ingakwazi ukuwuchaza ngamazwi: le divayisi iyaqhudelana nami, futhi kwesinye isikhathi iyawina. Lena yindlela efanayo esiyichaza esihlokweni sethu esithi ukuthi omakhalekhukhwini bawonakalisa kanjani buthule ubudlelwano — kodwa kuba nesisindo esengeziwe uma lowo osethulwa kancane kuyiyingane esafunda ukuthi ingabe ibalulekile yini.

Kungani lokhu kuyizindaba ezinhle, hhayi ukuzizwa unecala okwengeziwe

Kungaba lula ukubheka konke lokhu njengento eyodwa eyengeziwe yokwenza abazali bazizwe bebi. Kunalokho, kubheke ngenye indlela: lokhu kuyithuba. Uma indlela yakho yokuba yisibonelo ingelinye lamathonya aqine kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bengane yakho besikhathi esizayo nobuchwepheshe, khona-ke ukuthuthukisa imikhuba yakho yefoni kusho ngasikhathi sinye ukuba umzali — mhlawumbe ukuba umzali ngendlela esebenza kangcono kunoma yimuphi umthetho ongawuphoqelela. Into ongazuzisa ngayo wena noma kunjalo nayo ingenye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ongazenzela izingane zakho.

Futhi lokhu kugwema le mpi ekhathelayo yokuphoqelela. Imithetho idinga ukuqapha njalo futhi idala ukungqubuzana. Ukuba yisibonelo kusebenza ngokuzithoba, nsuku zonke, ngaphandle kokulwa — izingane zakho zifaka ngaphakathi leyo ndlela eziboniswe yona. Ukushintsha umgudu wokuzama ukuqapha izikrini zabo uye ekulungiseni owakho kuvame ukuba lula kakhulu futhi kusebenze kangcono. Awungezi omunye umsebenzi wokuba ngumzali; ukhetha lowo onamandla kakhulu.

Okufanele ukwenze ngempela

Lokhu akusho ukuthi kumele ungabi nefoni nhlobo noma uphelele — kusho ukuba nenhloso ezikhathini lapho izingane zibuka, nasemizuzwini lapho ukuxhumana kubaluleke kakhulu:

• Vikeleni izikhathi ezithile ezingenafoni ndawonye. Izikhathi zokudla, ukushayela izingane esikoleni, imikhuba yokulala, ihora lokuqala uma nifika ekhaya. Yenze lezi zikhathi zibe ngaphandle kwamadivayisi kuwona wonke umuntu, kuhlanganise nabantu abadala. Izindawo ezihlale zingenafoni zifundisa okuningi kunawo wonke umthetho.
• Bikani ukusetshenziswa ngenhloso. Uma nisebenzisa ifoni phambi kwezingane, kuyasiza ukusho ukuthi uyisebenziselani — "Ngibheka isikhathi sebhasi," bese uyibeka eceleni. Lokho kubonisa ukusetshenziswa ngenhloso kunokupheqa okungapheli, kukhombisa ifoni njengethuluzi, hhayi into ezenzakalela.
• Banike ukunakwa okuphelele uma bekhuluma nawe. Beka ifoni phansi, ubheke phezulu. Ukuzwa njalo ukuthi unakwa ngokuphelele kubaluleke kakhulu — futhi kubonisa ukuthi abantu bafanele ukunakwa okuphelele.
• Ake bakubone uyibeka phansi bese uba nesithukuthezi. Izingane ezingakaze zibone abantu abadala behlezi ngaphandle kwesikrini zifunda ukuthi ukuthula kumele kuhlale kugcwalisiwe. Ukubonisa isikhathi esingenazisusa kuso ngokwaso kuyisifundo esithule.
• Zisebenzise le mithetho nakuwe. "Azikho izingcingo etafuleni" kodwa abazali bawushaye indiva lowo mthetho kufundisa ukuthi imithetho eyabantwana nokuthi ukuzenzisa kuvamile. Imithetho enivumelana ngayo iyahlala; eyehlangothini olulodwa idala ukucasuka nokulingisa okuhlukile.

Inhloso akusona ikhaya elingenazo izikrini noma ukuba ngabazali abaphelele — kwanele ukuba nenhloso eyanele ukuze okuvezwayo kube yisibonelo esinempilo. Ukuze uthole indlela enkulu yokwakha isimo esenza lokhu kuqhubeke, bheka umhlahlandlela wethu ku ukunciphisa isikhathi sesikrini ngaphandle kokuziphoqa. Ukushintsha indawo ezungezile yomndeni wonke kulula kunokukuphoqelela kumuntu oyedwa emndenini.

Isiphetho esiyinhloko

Abazali bachitha amandla amaningi belawula isikhathi sezikrini sezingane zabo, kanti bavame ukunganaki into enamandla kakhulu: ukusebenzisa kwabo ifoni, okwenziwa nsuku zonke phambi kwezingane ezibukayo nezilingisayo. Izingane zifunda ukuthi yini ejwayelekile ngokubuka abantu abadala abaseduze kwazo, futhi umzali ophazamisekile ufundisa imikhuba yakusasa futhi unciphisa ukuxhumana kwamanje — izindleko ezimbili ezivela ekuziphatheni okufanayo.

Ohlangothini oluhle, ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano bakho nefoni yakho kungenye yezindlela zokuba umzali ezisebenza kakhulu ongazenza — futhi kusebenza ngaphandle kwezingxabano zokuphoqelela ezidingwa yimithetho. Vikela izikhathi ezimbalwa ezingenafoni, unikeze ukunakwa okuphelele lapho kubalulekile, uvumele babone ukuthi uyibeka phansi idivayisi. Izingane zakho azikuzweli ngempela imithetho yakho mayelana namafoni. Zibheka indlela osebenzisa ngayo eyakho. Yenza lokho kube kufanelekile ukubukwa.

Sources

1. Bandura, A. (1977). Social Learning Theory. Prentice Hall.
2. McDaniel, B.T., & Radesky, J.S. (2018). Technoference: Parent distraction with technology and associations with child behavior problems. Child Development, 89(1), 100–109.
3. Radesky, J.S., et al. (2014). Patterns of mobile device use by caregivers and children during meals in fast food restaurants. Pediatrics, 133(4), e843–e849.
4. Kildare, C.A., & Middlemiss, W. (2017). Impact of parents' mobile device use on parent-child interaction: A literature review. Computers in Human Behavior, 75, 579–593.
5. Myruski, S., et al. (2018). Digital disruption? Maternal mobile device use is related to infant social-emotional functioning. Developmental Science, 21(4), e12610.

Indlela esicwaninga futhi sibuyekeze ngayo lokhu