Ng cuándo kwaba nzima ukuba wedwa nemicabango yakho?

Buka okwenzeka nje lapho kungekho omunye umuntu eduze futhi kungekho okumele kwenziwe. Ulinde ikheshi, uhlezi egumbini elithule, ulele uphapheme isikhashana — ifoni iyavela, cishe ngaphandle kwesinqumo. Sesifinyelele lapho ukuhlala sodwa nemicabango yethu, ngisho imizuzwana engamashumi amathathu, sekuzwakala kungabekezeleki kancane, kuyinto ofuna ukubalekela yona ngokushesha. Lokho kufinyelela ifoni ngokuzenzakalela njalo lapho sisodwa kufanelekile ukucatshangelwa, ngoba kukhombisa lokhu: sesilahle buthule induduzo yethu yokuba sodwa nathi.

Lokhu akusiyo into encane. Ikhono lokuba wedwa nengqondo yakho — ukuhlala nenkampani yakho ngaphandle kokuba uphume uye esikrinini — kusekelwe ekucabangeni, ukuzazi, ukucubungula imizwa, kanye nokuthula okuthile. Sishintshe lokhu ukuze siqinisekise ukuthi asidingi ukubhekana nesikhathi sokuthula. Nansi lokho okukhona kulolo suku oluthule, kungani sithanda ukukugwema, nokuthi kungani kubalulekile ukukubuyisela emuva.

Ukuba wedwa nemicabango yakho, ngamanani

• Imizuzu engu-6 kuya kwengu-15 wedwa ekamelweni ungenalutho ongakwenza ngaphandle kokucabanga: ezifundweni ezingu-11, ababambiqhaza ngokuvamile abazange bakuthande lokho (Wilson et al., 2014).
• Ugesi esikhundleni sokucabanga: abaningi ababambiqhaza bakhetha ukuzinika ukushaqeka kukagesi kunokuhlala bodwa nemicabango yabo (Wilson et al., 2014).
• Cishe ingxenye yesikhathi, abantu bacabanga ngokunye okungeyona into abayenzayo — futhi lokho ngokuvamile kubenza bangajabuli kangako (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010).

Sizokwenza almost noma yini kunokuhlala nje

Kukhona ucwaningo oludumile lukaTimothy Wilson nabanye abacwaningi olukhombisa lokhu ngokucacile. Lapho abahlanganyeli bashiywa bodwa egumbini ngaphandle kokwenza okuthile ngaphandle kokucabanga, imizuzu engu-6 kuya kwengu-15, abaningi bathole ukuthi akukhululekile — futhi enguqulweni eyodwa, ingxenye enkulu yabahlanganyeli yakhetha ukuzishaya ugesi omncane kunokuhlala ngokuthula nemicabango yabo. Abantu bakhetha ukujabulisa okungahambi kahle kunokungabi nalutho. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi sikhona, sithola kunzima ukuhlala wedwa nomqondo wethu.

Futhi lokho kwenzeka ngaphambi kokuthi ifoni ephathekayo ikwenze kube lula futhi kube njalo. Manje asisadingi ukuthola ukuthi singakwazi yini ukumelana nokuhlala sodwa, ngoba asikaze sibe nakho — wonke umzuzu ongalindelekile ugcwalisiwe ngokushesha. Umzimba wokuba wedwa nemicabango yethu, ongakaze usebenze, uhlala ubuthakathaka, kuze kube nokuhlala okuncane kubonakala njengento okufanele siyiphumeze. Ifoni ayidalanga le ngxaki, kodwa iqinisekisa ukuthi asikaze sibhekane nayo isikhathi eside ukuze sakhe ukwamukela.

Abantu begumbini elithule ngaphandle kokunye ngaphandle kwemicabango yabo bakhetha ukuzishaya kunokuhlala lapho. Lokhu kwenzeka ngaphambi kokuthi amafoni enze ukuphuma kube lula. Manje asitholi ukuthi singakwazi yini ukumelana nezinkampani zethu — siphuma kuyo, njalo.

Lokhu esikugwema ngempela

Kungani ukuhlala wedwa nemicabango yethu kungakhululeki kangaka? Ngoba uma umsindo wangaphandle uyama, izinto zangaphakathi zivele — ukukhathazeka, imizwa engakabhekiwe, imibuzo ephoqelelayo mayelana nezimpilo zethu, izinto esikade sikhathazekile kakhulu ukuzibhekisisa. Isikhathi sokuthula yisikhathi lapho lezi zinto zikhuphuka, futhi kubantu abaningi lokho kuyinto abayiphunyukayo. Ucingo alugcini nje isikhathi; kuyindlela ethembekile yokugwema ulwazi lwethu lwangaphakathi.

Kodwa ukugwema kunezindleko. Imizwa nemibuzo esigwema zona azixazululeki ngokungabhekiwe — ziqoqeka, zivele njengezinkathazo ezingemuva, ukungakhululeki okungacacile, umuzwa wokungabi nokuqonda ngathi. Izikhathi zokuthula esizigwema ziqondile lapho ingqondo ingase ibheke futhi ihlanganise izipiliyoni zethu. Ngokungavumeli lezi zikhathi, sigcina sinesikhala semicabango engakabhekiwe, futhi silahlekelwa ulwazi lwethu siqu olukhona kuphela ngesikhathi esichithwa nathi. Lokhu kuhlobene nenani lokudala nokucabangela lesikhathi esingenalutho esikhuluma ngaso ku-izinzuzo zokuphoxeka.

Kungani ubuhlungu bukhulu obubuyiselwa

Ubuhlungu — isikhathi esikhethwe, esinokuthula sodwa nengqondo yakho — akufani nokuhlukumezeka, futhi kubalulekile. Lapho kwenzeka ukuzindla, lapho uphatha khona imizwa, lapho uthola khona ukuthi ucabangani futhi uzwa kanjani esikhundleni sokuphendula kumthombo wezinto. Izinhlobo eziningi zokucabangela, kanye ne-psychology eningi, zikhomba emandleni okuba nokuthula phakathi kwakho njengesisekelo sokuphila kahle.

Kukhona nezinye izinzuzo ezithule: uma ungakwazi ukumelana nokuba wedwa nemicabango yakho, uba uncike kancane ekutheni udinga ukujabuliswa njalo ukuze uzizwe kahle. Awusasebenzi ekutheni udinge njalo okuthile okubukwayo. Lokhu kuyinkululeko — ikhono lokwaneliseka ngesikhathi esithule kunokuba uphuthume ukusuka kuleso sikhathi. Ukubuyisela induduzo yokuba wedwa akukhulumi ngokwenza okuncane; kukhuluma ngokungabi nesithakazelo sokungakwenzi lutho.

Indlela yokubuyisela ukumelana nokuba wedwa

Njengoba noma iyiphi ikhono elingasebenzi kahle, induduzo yokuba nawe uqobo ibuyiselwa ngokuzilolonga kancane kancane. Awudingi ukuhamba ezindaweni zokuphumula ezithule — kuphela ukuvumela ukuthi ungaphuthumi njalo ngesikhathi esithule:

• Shiya izikhala ezincane zingagcwaliswanga. Ukuphakama, umjikelezo, ukulinda — ngokukhethekile ungafiki efoni. Hamba nje, ube khona, uzithokozise, kulawo maminithi amathirty. Lezi zikhathi ezincane ziwumthombo wokwakha ukwamukela, isinyathelo ngesinyathelo.
• Thatha ukuhamba ngaphandle kokufaka. Akukho i-podcast, akukho umculo, akukho efoni. Uthando lwakho nemicabango yakho nomhlaba. Kungenzeka kube nokungakhululeki ekuqaleni, kodwa kuvame ukuba nokujula okuthule ngemva kwemizuzu embalwa, njengoba ingqondo ithula futhi iqala ukuhamba kahle.
• Zama ukuhlala uthule imizuzu embalwa ngosuku. Akudingeki kube ukuzenzela okusemthethweni — imizuzu embalwa ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka, uvumela noma yini ekhona ukuba ibe khona. U practicing ukwamukela isipiliyoni sakho sangaphakathi esikhundleni sokuphunyuka kuso.
• Qaphela umuzwa wokuphunyuka njengemininingwane. Lapho ubuhlungu bukhona futhi ufika efoni, thola isikhathi sokumisa bese ubuza ukuthi yini esanda kuvela. Lokhu kungakhululeki kuvame ukukhomba okuthile okufanele ukwazi — umuzwa, ukukhathazeka, umbuzo obugweme.
• Linda ukuthi uzwe kubi ngaphambi kokuba kube kuhle. Izinyathelo zokuqala zokubuyiselwa kobuhlungu zihlala zingakhululeki futhi zingajabuli — lokho kuyisikhala esingagcwaliswanga esivela phezulu kanye nemisipha ebuthakathaka iphikisana. Kuthokozisa, futhi okukhona ngakolunye uhlangothi kube ukuthula okungajwayelekile futhi okubalulekile.

Ukudala lezi zikhathi ezithule kulula kakhulu uma efoni ingekho njalo eduze — lokhu kuyisisekelo esisebenzayo esibekwe emguides yethu ku- ukunciphisa isikhathi sokubuka isikrini ngaphandle kokuzikhandla. Susa ukuphunyuka okulula futhi ubuhlungu bukhona ukuze bube khona, futhi ukwamukela kwakho kube nendawo yokukhula.

Okubalulekile

Ukufinyelela ifoni ngokuzenzakalela nje lapho kungekho omunye umuntu eduze kungenye yemikhuba eveza okuningi kakhulu yenkathi yama-smartphone. Sesenze ukuba sodwa nemicabango yethu kuzwakale kucishe kube nzima ukukubekezelela — futhi ngoba ifoni isivumela ukubaleka kukho ngaso leso sikhathi njalo, asisoze sajwayela kukho, silahlekelwa ukuzindla, ukucubungula imizwa, nolwazi lokuzazi olunikezwa yisikhathi esithule sodwa.

Kodwa kuyikhono ongakha kabusha, kancane, ngokumisa ukuphunyuka okungazelelwe: shiya izikhala ezincane zingagcwaliswanga, hamba ngaphandle kokungena, uhlezi ngokuthula imizuzu embalwa, futhi ubheke umuzwa wokuphunyuka njengemininingwane yokuthi yini oyigwema. Isikhathi sokuthula osiphunyukayo asikho singenalutho noma sishaqisayo — yindawo lapho uqobo uhlangana khona. Ukufunda ukuhlala kuyo futhi kuyinkululeko ethule, enenzuzo kakhulu.

Sources

1. Wilson, T.D., et al. (2014). Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind. Science, 345(6192), 75–77.
2. Buckner, R.L., Andrews-Hanna, J.R., & Schacter, D.L. (2008). The brain's default network. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1124(1), 1–38.
3. Nguyen, T.T., Ryan, R.M., & Deci, E.L. (2018). Solitude as an approach to affective self-regulation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(1), 92–106.
4. Killingsworth, M.A., & Gilbert, D.T. (2010). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330(6006), 932.

Indlela esicwaninga futhi sibuyekeze ngayo lokhu