Uvula ifoni yakho ubona imiyalezo engama-217 engafundwanga ezindaweni eziyisithupha zezingxoxo zeqembu. Eyomndeni, eyomsebenzi, eyabangane bakudala, leyo eyenzeka eminyakeni emithathu edlule engakaze iphele. Ujolisa, ufunda kancane, uzizwa unomthwalo wokuphendula, uzizwa unecala ukuthi awuphendulanga, futhi ngendlela ethile ukhathazekile kakhulu kunangaphambili. Izingxoxo zeqembu zazihloselwe ukusigcina sixhumene. Kubantu abaningi, seziye zaba umthombo ophansi, ongeqedi, wokukhathala.

Ukukhathala kokuthumela imiyalezo kuyinto eqinile futhi engakhulunywanga kakhulu, futhi ukuzizwa uphumelele emishinini yeqembu akukwenzi ungabantu abathandekayo noma umngane omubi. Kukhona izizathu ezithile ukuthumela imiyalezo yeqembu njalo okwenza kube nzima kunokubukeka — futhi izindaba ezinhle, kukhona izindlela ezingekho mthelela zokubeka imingcele ezivikela kokubili amandla akho kanye nobudlelwano bakho. Nansi kokubili.

Kungani kudinga amandla amaningi kunokubukeka

Akuqedi noma akuxazululi

Ingxoxo eb face-to-face iqala futhi iphela. I-group chat ivulekile njalo — ayikho indlela yokuphuma, akukho phezulu lapho ungathi "uphelile." Lokhu kusho ukuthi kukhona umuzwa ophansi wokuthi kukhona umsebenzi ongaphelile, ongaxazululiwe osebenza ngemuva ngokuqhubekayo. Abaph心理ologists babiza umphumela wokungapheli kwemisebenzi ngokuthi i-Zeigarnik effect: ama-loop avulekile athatha izinsiza zengqondo kuze kube avalwa. I-group chat iyiloop elingakaze livale, elithwala ukunaka kwakho usuku lonke.

Umthwalo ophansi ohlala njalo

Umyalezo ngamunye ulethe umthwalo omncane wezokuxhumana — ukufunda, ukuphendula, ukuhamba phambili, ukuphendula ngesikhathi esifanele ukuze ungabi yedwa ophumile. Phindaphinda lokho ezinkulumweni eziningi ezisebenzayo futhi uzothwala umuzwa ohlala njalo wokuthi ungenza abantu baphendule. Akuvamile ukuba kubonakale njengokuphuthumayo ngakunye, kodwa ngokuhlanganiswa kuyisixhumi esiqhubekayo sokuxhumana esingakaze siphume ngokuphelele. Lo mthwalo ophansi uyiqiniso uyakhathaza, ngisho noma umyalezo owodwa ungabi njalo.

Kukhona futhi inani elikhulu lokuphazamiseka — ingxoxo eqhubekayo ingakhupha ama-notification amaningi ngehora, ngakunye kukhinyabeza kancane ukunaka kwakho, ngendlela esichaza ngayo esihlokweni sethu se-ukuphazamiseka kwe-notification. Futhi ukwesaba ukuphuthelwa kokuhlangenwe nakho (ihlaya elingaphakathi, uhlelo, isinqumo) kukugcina uhlola njalo, ngakho ingxoxo ithatha ukunaka ngisho noma akukho okubalulekile okwenzeka.

Ingxoxo iphela. Ingxoxo yeqembu ayipheli. I-loop yokuxhumana ihlala ivulekile — umsebenzi ongaphelele ophansi, kanye nesibopho sokugcina uhamba phambili, esisebenza ngemuva kosuku lwakho lonke. Akumangazi ukuthi kuyakhathaza.

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Kungani ukunciphisa kuzwa kungalungile (kodwa akukhona)

Nansi inkinga: noma ngabe ingxoxo yeqembu ikudinga kakhulu, ukuphuma noma ukuyithulisa kubonakala njengokuphikisa — njengokuthi uyawuphika abantu abakuyo, noma uzophuthelwa okuthile, noma uzobonwa njengomuntu ophumile. Ngakho abantu bahlala bejabule ezinkulumweni ezibakhathazayo, ngenxa yokuzizwa benecala nokwesaba ukuphuthelwa, bekhokha intengo yokukhathala kunokubeka engcupheni yokuxhumana. Umthwalo uzwakala unamandla kunalokho okukhona.

Kodwa ukuvimba ingxoxo akufani nokwenqaba abantu abakhona kuyo. Unganakekela kakhulu abangane bakho futhi ungadingi isaziso sangesikhathi sangempela sokuthi imiyalezo ethile mayelana nezinhlelo zokudla. Ukuvimba kushintsha ngesikhathi nendlela ophathelene ngayo — ngezindlela zakho, lapho ukhetha ukubheka — hhayi ukuthi unakekela. Ubudlelwano bukhona ezishintshweni eziyiqiniso, hhayi ekuphenduleni kwakho kwesikhathi sangempela kumyalezo onemiyalezo engama-40 engakhulumi ngalutho. Ukukhulula umthwalo wokugcina uphila konke kuyinto eyenza ukuba uhlale uxhumene nalokho okubalulekile kube lula.

Ukushintsha umqondo: ukuvimba ingxoxo yeqembu akukwenqabi abantu abakhona kuyo. Kwenza kube ukushintsha kusuka ekuphazamisekeni kwesikhathi sangempela kube yinto oyibheka ngezindlela zakho. Unganakekela wonke umuntu engxoxweni futhi ungakwenzi kube yinto edinga ukunakwa kwakho bukhoma.

Imingcele engena maphutsa esebenzayo

Inhloso akukhona ukuhamba kude nezokuxhumana — kodwa ukujolisa kuyo ngendlela engakudingi kakhulu. Imingcele elula, engathathi hlangothi:

  • Thulisa ngokukhululeka. Thulisa izaziso zezingxoxo ezingadingi ukunakwa kwakho ngesikhathi sangempela — cishe zonke zazo. Ukuthulisa akusho ukuhamba; ingxoxo isekhona uma ukhetha ukuyibuka. Le shintsho eyodwa isusa iningi lokuphazamiseka ngokushesha.
  • Bheka ohlelweni lwakho, hhayi lwabo. Funda futhi uphendule ezingxoxweni zeqembu ezikhathini ezimbalwa ezicacile kunokuphendula usuku lonke. Ingxoxo ayidingi ukuba khona bukhoma; hlanganisa.
  • Vumela ukujolisa kukho konke. Awudingi ukufunda yonke imiyalezo engu-200. Bheka okukhuluma ngempela ngawe noma okubalulekile, bese uvumela okunye kuphume. Akekho okulindele ukuthi ufunde wonke amagama, futhi ukuziphatha njengokuthi baphinde lokho kuyazenzakalela.
  • Kulungile ukuhamba ezingxoxweni eziphukile. Iqembu lezehlakalo ezinyanga ezimbili ezedlule lingashiywa. Ukuhamba ezingxoxweni ezingasebenzi noma ezingabalulekile kuyinto ejwayelekile, hhayi ukuhlambalaza.
  • Phendula uma unokuthile okufanele ukusho, hhayi ngenxa yokuphathwa. Awudingi ukuphendula yonke imiyalezo. Ukufaka isandla uma unokuthile okukhona kuyinto engcono kunokwenza sengathi uhlala khona njalo.

Lezi zonke zindlela ezifanayo: ukuguqula ingxoxo ukusuka ekubeni umthwalo ongenamkhawulo ibe ithuluzi olisebenzisa ngokuqondile — umgomo ofanayo nalesi sihloko sethu sokuthi unciphise isikhathi sokubuka isikrini ngaphandle kokuzikhandla. Usetha imigomo yokubambisana, esikhundleni sokuthi ingxoxo ikwenze.

Umphumela ophakathi

Izingxoxo zeqembu zikhathaza ngempela ngezindlela ezingezona ezokucabanga: azivali, zenza umthwalo ongenamkhawulo, futhi zikhanyisa ukuphazamiseka okungapheli, kukushiya uphatha umuzwa ongapheli wezaziso ezilindelekile. Ukuzizwa udinwe yizo akukwenzi ungathandi abantu — kukwenza ube umuntu onamandla okuxhumana aphelile nezinto eziningi ezivulekile ezilwa nawo.

Unelungelo lokubeka imingcele. Thula ngokukhululeka, hlola ngesikhathi sakho, skipa okungaphambili, shiya lezo ezingasebenzi, futhi phendula uma unempela okuthile okufanele ukusho. Lokhu akusho ukuthi ungakhathaleli abantu abakwi-chat — kusho nje ukuthi awuvumeli umjikelezo ongapheli uthwale ukunaka kwakho usuku lonke. Vikele amandla akho. Ubudlelwano buzophila ngemuva kokuthulisa izaziso; ukuthula kwakho kungase kungaphili uma ungakwenzi lokho.

Sources

  1. Zeigarnik, B. (1927). Über das Behalten von erledigten und unerledigten Handlungen (On finished and unfinished tasks). Psychologische Forschung, 9, 1–85.
  2. Mark, G., Gudith, D., & Klocke, U. (2008). The cost of interrupted work: More speed and stress. Proceedings of the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems, 107–110.
  3. Reinecke, L., et al. (2018). Permanently online and permanently connected: Development and validation of the Online Vigilance Scale. PLoS ONE, 13(10), e0205384.
  4. Halfmann, A., & Rieger, D. (2019). Permanently on call: The effects of social pressure on smartphone users' self-control. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 24(4), 165–181.

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